i am NOTHING ... yet something

I have been slacking in the blog department and while some bloggers might apologize for this... I will just say that... this is me. My lack of blogging during this past season of my life is just a little insight into who I am... a little sketchy at times, but then I like to think that if Jesus was around the world might think him sketchy too.

The title of this blog pretty much sums up what I believe God has been teaching me. While it may sound like an oxymoron; because how in the world can someone be something and NOTHING all at the same time, I have come to find that it perfectly describes who I am. While walking with Jesus one thing that has become very evident to me is I am very full of  weakness, fear, and evil. In-fact if two things were placed in-front of me; one sinful and one righteous, in my human nature I am innately attracted to the sinful thing. This is why I say that I am NOTHING. However,  something that I have learned about God is that He is lacking nothing. There is not one thing that God is lacking. If God is LOVE, and .....
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 8 Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 
(and i am sure this only scratches the surface of who God is)
Then God is everything that I am not. 
For me at first this was quite a defeating concept ... I am nothing and God lacks nothing--- "Well then how am I ever going to get Him to want me and to Love me. I have nothing to offer Him and even if I did He wouldn't need it." But I think that is exactly Gods point...
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
 I can never ever earn the grace that God bestows on me. He gives me grace to be weak and when I submit to Him and linger in His presence.... realizing that all He wants from me is a relationship... that is when I become something. Not because of anything that I have done or anything that I am, but because of Christ in me. 
I will say that this is one thing that I think I will always be learning... the sufficiency of God's grace that makes my nothingness something. 

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